
Hey,
I know this isn't really a nice topic to talk about, but when i self harmed, all i really needed was to talk to someone. Fortunately, I don't anymore, but I will be happy to answer any questions or help people who self harm, or maybe even explain it to people who don't really understand it. I went through such a bad time, and i just wish i'd had someone who understood what I was going through.
Before you comment telling me I'm stupid for bringing this up, etc, I'm only trying to help.
xoxo
Ruby
(If you don't want to talk about it in the forum, just send me a private mail. I'll try and answer quickly!)
Offline

I read somewhere than 1 in 7 teenage girls have or do self harm.



Offline

Yeah it's something like that, absolutely loads. It actually made me feel better, cos when I started i was just like, OMG I'm a freak. But then i realised I wasn't the only one doing it 
I am a freak, but for different reasons 
xoxo
Ruby
Offline

I've PMed you.



Offline

I never did, but I had several friends who did. Unfortunately, apparently it can become addictive, so by the time I could talk and help one friend, it was almost an ingrained response to outside pain, even if it was really minor. The other friend now has deep scars and many regrets.
Thanks for raising this topic & being so supportive. No matter what the issue is, too many girls don't know that there are always people who are willing to listen and who really do care.








Offline

I self-harm regularly, it's something i'm very familiar with. I do see councillors, but personally, talking doesn't help for me. I'm not a very good speaker, and whenever i try to explain a situation it always comes out the wrong way. Just makes it even more awkward really.

Offline

xBabycakes wrote:
I self-harm regularly, it's something i'm very familiar with. I do see councillors, but personally, talking doesn't help for me. I'm not a very good speaker, and whenever i try to explain a situation it always comes out the wrong way. Just makes it even more awkward really.
Hey,
Fortunately, I'm OK at talking to people, especially counsellors, but if you're not then there are loads of other ways you can let out your anger/frustration/sadness. When I started self harming, no one knew about it so I had no one to talk to. I started a diary, and that actually helped. Most of the time, I didn't even write in it, I just stabbed the page with my pen! But seriously, it is a good way of letting off steam. I know you've probably heard this from your counsellor, but whenever my counsellor told me what I should do instead of the self harm, I'd be like "Well, you don't self harm, so how do you know how I'm feeling or if it's gonna work?". That's one of the reasons I started this topic, because I can actually say that it works. Of course, it won't for everybody, but it's good to at least try!
xoxo
Ruby
Anyone can PM me if they wanna talk in private!
Offline

It's something I used to do, something I still get the urge to do sometimes. I think it's one of those things that's misunderstood quite a bit. People who self harm need to be supported and it's so sad that a lot of the time, they are ridiculed
Offline

i used to do it too, fortunaly a good friend of mine found out about it and she really helped me
it was strange, 'cause every time i did it, i wanted someone to find out,
but at the same time i was scared that someone would know so i tried my best to hide it
but for me it really helped to talk to someone about it, to let it al out
it's sad that people think so strange of people who selfharm, they think they only do it to seek attention of because they are 'emo'.... that's not true!! (just to make that clear )
Offline

I know, I would have sorted it out a lot earlier if I hadn't been so scared that people would accuse me of doing it for attention. It's a horrible experience, and I only wish I had told someone earlier.
xoxo
Ruby
Offline

i started self harming when i was 12 it started kinda by accident someone hit me and i felt that pain was all i was worth i self harmed till i was 16/17 i still have urges but not enough to do it again thankfully i have two beautiful kids now and they se me right lol they make me a thousand times over happy as does my lovely partner i can understand what xbabycakes means about not being able to talk it out i used to hide my cuts and stuff coz i didnt want help and i didn want anyone to know but when i met my partner he self harmed and it affected me in a big way i had to help myself to help him i couldnt though and we helped each other through it in the end i saw counsellors too and had to stay in hospital but nothing it worked counselling just isnt the right option for some people i think. its hard to say how to stop pople doing it because it totally depends on the person






Offline

to write love on her arms.
www.twloha.com
quite literally, saved my life.


Offline

Mandi Heartbreaker wrote:
to write love on her arms.
www.twloha.com
quite literally, saved my life.
Thank you for the information and caring


[img]http://photo.missbimbo.com/1/66/pt/52487.jpg[/img/ 
Offline

Lilycerise wrote:
Hey,
I know this isn't really a nice topic to talk about, but when i self harmed, all i really needed was to talk to someone. Fortunately, I don't anymore, but I will be happy to answer any questions or help people who self harm, or maybe even explain it to people who don't really understand it. I went through such a bad time, and i just wish i'd had someone who understood what I was going through.
Before you comment telling me I'm stupid for bringing this up, etc, I'm only trying to help.
xoxo
Ruby
(If you don't want to talk about it in the forum, just send me a private mail. I'll try and answer quickly!)
Ihank you for bringing a topic to the foram that is relavent. We cant hid our eyes or not talk about things that are happening in this world .


[img]http://photo.missbimbo.com/1/66/pt/52487.jpg[/img/ 
Offline

Lilycerise wrote:
xBabycakes wrote:
I self-harm regularly, it's something i'm very familiar with. I do see councillors, but personally, talking doesn't help for me. I'm not a very good speaker, and whenever i try to explain a situation it always comes out the wrong way. Just makes it even more awkward really.
Hey,
Fortunately, I'm OK at talking to people, especially counsellors, but if you're not then there are loads of other ways you can let out your anger/frustration/sadness. When I started self harming, no one knew about it so I had no one to talk to. I started a diary, and that actually helped. Most of the time, I didn't even write in it, I just stabbed the page with my pen! But seriously, it is a good way of letting off steam. I know you've probably heard this from your counsellor, but whenever my counsellor told me what I should do instead of the self harm, I'd be like "Well, you don't self harm, so how do you know how I'm feeling or if it's gonna work?". That's one of the reasons I started this topic, because I can actually say that it works. Of course, it won't for everybody, but it's good to at least try!
xoxo
Ruby
Anyone can PM me if they wanna talk in private!
thankyou for your advice, i've taken it on board. I used to write a diary, up until my mother found it and confronted me. That was absolutely horrible, and that put me off writing diaries for life. Yeh, i also see counsellors for my ED, and i often sit there thinking "you don't know what its like" "you don't know what pain i go through". They think they know everything at that place, it's not fair.

Offline
I am 22 years old as of monday- my first deliberate self harm was at 11 but looking back i did things to get hurt a lot as a child. I haven't hurt myself in a few months- self injury is a hard addiction to break. If anyone wants support please feel free to pm me. Also i've been involved in a self injury support group well a support forum for any issue big or small for years. We started on another site and it was moved to this one -http://www.sihaven.myfastforum.org
thank you for starting this thread, it's something that needs to be brought to life.
Offline

i agree with all the posts on here too many people judge those who have self-harmed as being silly immature etc and just attention seeking and they dont realise what really goes on underneith, to me pain was my relief and my escape and it worked to an extent i would fell relieved but then lousy but it was hard to stop once you have started it never really goes away it will always be with you i think about it but would never do it again but its still there with me and when i see my scars i feel so guilty as i never want my children to go down that road as self-harm is the worst addiction ever im also free for anyone to pm me about anything even if you just having a bad day and need to get stress out i almost always have my computer logged in so anything just msge me 






Offline

Lilmissbabe1986 wrote:
i agree with all the posts on here too many people judge those who have self-harmed as being silly immature etc and just attention seeking and they dont realise what really goes on underneith, to me pain was my relief and my escape and it worked to an extent i would fell relieved but then lousy but it was hard to stop once you have started it never really goes away it will always be with you i think about it but would never do it again but its still there with me and when i see my scars i feel so guilty as i never want my children to go down that road as self-harm is the worst addiction ever im also free for anyone to pm me about anything even if you just having a bad day and need to get stress out i almost always have my computer logged in so anything just msge me
Hey,
I totally agree with the feeling lousy after self harming. For me, it usually went: Inner pain, outside pain, relief, guilt. And the guilt would last for days, until it became unbearable and I had to self harm again. It's like a vicious circle, so really hard to stop. I think if you replace the self harm with something else, then you get no guilt, and then a lot of inner pain has gone. Obviously, whatever you replace it with has to be right for you, but even if it isn't, at least you've tried. What I would sometimes do, is whenever I went to cut my arms, I'd make myself lie on my bed for 15 to 20 minutes. If after that time I still needed to cut, I would, but most of the time I'd let out all of my stress simply by lying down for a few minutes.
xoxo
Ruby
Offline

i did the same thing, all the pain was inside me, i couldn't get rid of it, i try to talk to my parents and my friends about my problems they didn't listen, i was so angry that i cut myself on the wrist, when i cut my wrist i felt all the pain was kinda of disappearing
Offline
I went through a "phase" in my early 20's. I was going through some emotional crisis'. I felt as if I were invisible. I was screaming on the inside, and was numb externally. The only real proof that I had that I was alive was the blood I could produce...
I thought I was going insane. I went to see a therapist. She acting as if I were going to kill myself (which, actually, was NOT true. I was cutting/burning myself to feel ALIVE, but I can't really explain that), and recommended in-patient observation. I refused. I didn't want someone to watch me, around the clock, to stop me. I wanted to know how to stop the feelings that were motivating me to do it in the first place.
Anyway, I just looked at all the things that were making me miserable, and started to change them. I hated my job, so I changed it. My relationship was bad, so I moved on. My friends were phoney, self absorbed morons, so I found "real" people to confide in, even though they were not "popular"-and it helped.
And I stopped worrying what other people thought. I was sick of being "perfect", because I wasn't, and I decided to let it show.
Offline
i used to self harm and people at school found out(this was about a year ago)
i remember one boy in particular started calling me an emo but at the same time he was really interested in why and how i did it but i suppose thats just a boy thing
i dont know quite how i managed but i did give it up
the thing is though it is so addictive
and people dont understand that the pain makes you feel better
it seems that self harm is a dont go there topic
and more people need to speak out
if anyone would like to talk PM me and i would be happy to help

Last edited by LolaLoveheart (07-29-2008 21:24)


Offline

I haven't been on in a while, but I'm so glad to see people speaking up about it. Although it's only been a few months since I last self harmed, I think that this could be the end of it as it's the longest amount of time I haven't felt the need to cut in before.
Offline

i reckon you should take that link down because of the younger users here and its pretty sick a. Nicci Edited to note link has gone. phew. It werent pretty!
Last edited by Nicci-ashley (07-31-2008 14:35)
Offline

Nicci-ashley wrote:
i reckon you should take that link down because of the younger users here and its pretty sick a. Nicci
which link?






Offline

It's so good to see people talking about such a sensitive topic maturely and seriously. I've never self harmed, but my brother did it for years and may still do it. A lot of people dismiss it as attention seeking - to me there's a big difference between attention seeking and a cry for attention. As someone said (sorry can't remember who), you often want people to find but don't want them to at the same time. It can be very hard to talk to someone, especially when you feel like everyone is the enemy. Well done on being able to discuss it without it turning nasty like some of the other contraversial topics around here.
Offline