Girls, come ask our boys...

OnlyHannah wrote:

ok ive got a question about boys

if i say im not ready yet, do you think he will leave me?

ive been scared stiff for weeks, i want him to be happy and i dont want to loose him, my best friend did it and he left her, ive been with him a year, have i left him waiting too long?

Only do it if you feel you are 100% ready or you could end up regretting it later, and again if you are unsure or "scared stiff" as you say, maybe you should wait until you feel ready. It's not about keeping him waiting you're not obliged to be physically intimate with him. My advice is don't do it with the guy just for fear of losing him - I didn't do it with a guy and he left, but maybe he would've done that anyway, it depends on the guy and how much he cares. If he truly wants you he will wait or if you WANT to do it but are scared then if you guys get gradually intimate it won't seem so frightening when the time comes. Besides that, if you speak to him and tell him how you feel he will tell you his point of view. Hope that helps

And yeah...I know I'm not a guy

Bar8ie wrote:

Ok this thread is old.. but if a guy still wants to help i really would appreciate it.

I've been in a relationship for 2 years and now planning the date of engagement.
6 months ago(which is still carrying on) my boyfriend is acting kind of controlling.. as advising me (more like telling me) what to wear, when to go out, with who to go out, time limit and etc, its not really to the point of abuse (i dont mean physical ofcourse) but its relly bothering me that he's attemting to control me..
Could anyone suggest what can he be thinking? is it some crack in our trust,? or is he showing his true colours after all this time? or its his way of being more carrying???
Anyone? plz?

If there is a sudden shift in his behavior and treatment of you, something is wrong.  I would sit him down and talk to him about why he's being so controlling.  Generally speaking, people who live very structured lives and focus on details have a difficult time with not knowing what is going on in their world.  It may be an insecurity issue, but most normal people wouldn't try to micromanage another’s existence. 

You have two options if a chit-chat doesn't yield a return to his previous BF behavior.  You leave him or you deal with his micromanagement.  This type of behavior is typical in someone who is worried that their partner will cheat on them.  (Concerns like this about cheating are usually because the person doing all the worrying about cheating is a cheater or has cheated in the past). 

You do not want to be engaged to a person like this.  After awhile it's just going to become overbearing and you will get fed up with his micromanagement of your life and you will end up leaving him. (The one thing he is probably trying most to prevent!)

Tell him to grow up and treat you like a partner, or to buy himself an inflatable GF.  A real adult relationship is about trust, honor, and love.  It is never based on controlling your partner. Hope things work out well for you. Good luck.

lol.. i know i'm a girl and everything but lol anyway..
different guys like different things and i don't think it's a good idea to keep your hair the same all the time anyway :] try straight and curly at different times..

sweetymary wrote:

thanks for your time and good advices kellie
***
i have this huge problem with my bf and i need a guy to help me.

Sounds like completely botched love fiasco.  You don’t want to be with Lad anymore, so breakup and be single for awhile.  If CN is already dating Lamy won’t it be weird to date someone that is dating your friend? Even if they are in an open relationship.  You lied to Lad, you told him you were not interested in CN, but you are.  You’re really going to look like an awful person to Lad and anyone else that trusts or respects him as a person if you still go out with CN. 

Give it a few months, your crush with CN will fade, you can still be friends with everyone if you like, but I highly recommend taking some time off from this circle of friends and being single and dating people outside of your 2nd and 3rd cousin dating pool.  Variety is the spice of life and this type of relationship drama isn’t anything that you should want to deal with. 

I think you know what you really want to do, just think about how your actions will affect your friendships and or relationships with these three people and your extended family.  Whatever you decide to do, think about this: If CN is interested in Lamy now, was he really that into you in the first place? Or just looking to be a jerk to his little brother?  If it’s the later I’d stay away from CN if I were in your shoes.  Dating guys that are playboys (popular, good-looking, flirts, spend money on you) can be fun, but you have to expect that they will not be very loyal or faithful to you.

Kellie Leah wrote:

sweetymary wrote:

thanks for your time and good advices kellie
***
i have this huge problem with my bf and i need a guy to help me.

Sounds like completely botched love fiasco.  You don’t want to be with Lad anymore, so breakup and be single for awhile.  If CN is already dating Lamy won’t it be weird to date someone that is dating your friend? Even if they are in an open relationship.  You lied to Lad, you told him you were not interested in CN, but you are.  You’re really going to look like an awful person to Lad and anyone else that trusts or respects him as a person if you still go out with CN. 

Give it a few months, your crush with CN will fade, you can still be friends with everyone if you like, but I highly recommend taking some time off from this circle of friends and being single and dating people outside of your 2nd and 3rd cousin dating pool.  Variety is the spice of life and this type of relationship drama isn’t anything that you should want to deal with. 

I think you know what you really want to do, just think about how your actions will affect your friendships and or relationships with these three people and your extended family.  Whatever you decide to do, think about this: If CN is interested in Lamy now, was he really that into you in the first place? Or just looking to be a jerk to his little brother?  If it’s the later I’d stay away from CN if I were in your shoes.  Dating guys that are playboys (popular, good-looking, flirts, spend money on you) can be fun, but you have to expect that they will not be very loyal or faithful to you.

about Cn u are right he is the kind that wont be loyal to me but everyone said he changed.
i like to think that he didnt ask me out because he doesnt want to be serious about me while with Lamy its ok because she isnt from our family... lol ...'i said i like to think'

what image will i be giving to all those who love Lad... totally agree

i agree with pretty much everything. thanks for your advices KL , seriously. but i will hate to lose hope lol even though i know there is none!

Leave the guy called LAD because if you don't really like him it won't go anywhere. You could either tell him your feelings for him have changed without mentioning CN at all so that you don't risk CN finding out what you said to lad or jsut say you want to be single for a while and you don't feel ready for a relationship - either one he can't argue with.

As to CN you could tell him how you feel - but this might lead to more harm than good. He might say he likes you or he might go tell everyone and make a fool of you or simply be uninterested and get you hurt. Alternatively you could just leave LAD and wait, if Lamy and CN split up then tell CN how you feel then if you still like him

But one thing for sure - If i were you I wouldn't stay with LAD if I didn't completely like him, you shouldn't settle for what you find is second best because the whole time you will be pining for 1st best

Hope that helps and sorry if it's confusing!

licie wrote:

how do u close ur bimbo account

that's kind of off topic. not sure how, but you could search the help forums or ask an administrator to help you with closing your account.

Kellie Leah wrote:

sweetymary wrote:

Kellie Leah wrote:

Sounds like completely botched love fiasco.  You don’t want to be with Lad anymore, so ***
Dating guys that are playboys (popular, good-looking, flirts, spend money on you) can be fun, but you have to expect that they will not be very loyal or faithful to you.

about Cn u are right he is the kind that wont be loyal to me but everyone said he changed.
i like to think that he didnt ask me out because he doesnt want to be serious about me while with Lamy its ok because she isnt from our family... lol ...'i said i like to think'

what image will i be giving to all those who love Lad... totally agree

i agree with pretty much everything. thanks for your advices KL , seriously. but i will hate to lose hope lol even though i know there is none!

Don’t listen to what everyone else has to say about CN! You have to make a judgment on his character and to do so properly will take time.  If you still have your heart set on CN, there isn't anything wrong with getting to know him better as a friend so that you can better gauge whether he really has changed, but that's a long shot. I’m not saying it's impossible, but people are pretty much who they are and don't change that easily.  I think you would love to date CN right now, but aren’t really keen on the idea of sharing him with another woman. But be real honest with yourself; if this guy is asking you out when he’s already dating another girl, a whole slew of warning klaxons should be going off in your head!  Just ones telling you ok, he’s asking me out when he’s with Lamy, who will he be asking out when he’s with me.  If you’re not in a committed relationship or have made any intentions of being exclusive there is nothing wrong with dating more than one person at the same time.

Also with time and some space, you'll give Lad a chance to get over you and move on. I'm not telling you to postpone your own happiness to spare Lad's feelings, but what's the harm in dropping off the face of his world while he gets over you for a few months?  CN will still be around after this time has passed and maybe going out with him then will be possible, but I think you will have changed your mind about him in six months time and spared yourself a whole lot of grief and family related drama.  Now what about Lamy? Is she fine with you and her both dating CN at the same time?  To me a friendship is more important than a dating relationship, because good lifelong friends are hard to come by.  Hope all works out well for you, good luck.

thanks 4 trying to help but let me clarify something...

it is Lad who called me while still going out with Lamy and i didnt even know. worst, when i first asked him he lied and said 'NO'.
this is why im not letting myself love him even if he is sweet with me because if he did it to her, he will do it to me... he says its different cos we are relatives and that he loves me but i dont believe him that much... he lied so easily that 2 months later im still impressed...

CN and me we have never talked. he said i was cute but didnt know my cousin would tell me. i guess he is not that into me but it's ok....lol

oh and Lamy i really like her but she did something awful... telling Lad i like his big brother... that was selfish and what impress me is that she swear she wont tell anyone.

so let me say it easier...

CN likes Lamy, while she loves Lad. Lad loves me more and i like CN more...  God can we switch?pleaaase lol.

ps. all the four of us arent meeting anymore. Lamy is studying in uni in spain, i am studying in Egypt.
CN is studying his last year in another town . and Lad is still with his parents in last year of High school .

Lamy will be meeting the brothers in december while i wont be there before may.

loool i know its just a big big mess

blackrose15 wrote:

Look, there is this boy I really fancy... and I'm not sure if I should tell him that...
What should I do? Tell him or keep it for myself?

you are going to drive yourself bonkers if you keep it to yourself. just ask him out, if he says no, you save yourself all the grief of living in a fantasy world about him.  if he says yes you get to figure out if you really like him or not.  a win/win situation.

how long have you known the boy? if it's only a few weeks i'd hold off on showing him your hand so to speak.  just be polite and interested and invite him to do something with you if you like.  could be as simple as eating lunch together.

Kellie Leah wrote:

you should find yourself a nice Egyptian boy toy to distract you. especially since you won't be back in Euro till May. don't get tunnel vision on these silly boys.  ahh, i didn't realize that Lad lied to you, yeah definitely drop that one.  and i can't believe Lamy betrayed your trust.  what a mess.  next time you see CN, just ask him out for lunch or something, see what happens. just make sure he's not still seeing Lamy. nothing wrong with being proactive about it, plus if he says no your curiosity will be satisfied and you won't have to be tortured by the fantasy of him anymore.  oh and if things work out will you really want Lad being your brother in law?  love-squares, blegh! >8D

omg you are like the smartest and nicest guy ever! i will let u know what will b happening the next days. thanks for your help. i added u to my friend list. thanks again

why do boys not just ask someone out when they like them instead of leaving it and not taking the  chance?

and

why do guys go for the girl that their never going to get while their are loads of other girls just waiting for the chance but they never get a chance because all the guys are too fansinated with the beautiful girl.

actgirl wrote:

why do men (not saying all) bot care bout how their gf feels when comes to something they want (ie bf wants offroader but gf has worrys)

Ahh Coz Boys Are Strange Creatures Who Think Its Macho To Not Listen To How Ny1 Feels! Sorry Jus A Lil Annoyd Atm!
Wood Love Some Advice .. From Galz N Boys.. Need To Major Get Stf Off My Chest N Fort As No1 Nos Me Here Its The Best Way To Do It... Also Wood Love A Non Biased Opinion!
Can Any One Help Me??
x

lilmissarah311 wrote:

i like this guy that goes to my school and he likes me but he doesn't want to go out with me right now but wants to do stuff with me like we are going out. i don't know what i should do.

Don't do it... he is just using you!!!