Girls, come ask our boys...

Hi guys! I have this friend M. We are best friends,im like a sister for him and he is like a brother for me...He has a girlfriend. How can i tell him that i love him more than just a brother? Pls tell me what should i do,and sorry if this question was posted before,i didn't see it. Thank you

Thank you

i am pretty mad, because i never got a boy friend:( not good:rire

I love my Boyfriend
been together for 1 year and 10 months

sweetymary wrote:

Kellie Leah wrote:

sweetymary wrote:

ow tnx kellie! i appreciate it. besides u've been a very counselor of mine since the beginning.
i need ur help one more time. it's complicated like usual lol
so i'll need a lot of time to explain to ya.. i'll come back and write u about this problem im facing with my noy
FAD- PART 2 ( u can refresh ur memory by re-reading the first part XD)

so any resoulutions for new year? c'ya & tnx again 4 everything

I patiently wait for your coming explanation of the saga of your love life.  Always happy to help and offer a boy's perspective.

I'll try to go back and read your earlier posts this weekend, so as to refresh my memory.  Very busy with classes, projects and homework due, and eek! career fair. Guess I have to find a job now too, no more being a poor college bum, le-sigh.

I too have had some interesting love adventures, I'll write you about it soon.

Nothing really for New Year's resolutions, but I am continuing to work out at the gym 3-4 times a week and am really excited about graduating with my bachelor's of science degree in August of this year.  Woo-hooo! Done with school!

congratulations kellie! any plans for valentine?
ok by november i was still datin this guy i met on a wedding. but his mom told him im all over his sisters fancè. it was a lot of drama but at the end he stood by my side. funny thing is that after we would fight for nothing. he wont call. he will just text me. and i didnt like the way the relationship was heading.
anywas. the 2nd week of november someone told me he went to france for holidays without telling me. so i called him to ask.
he said its not true bt when i pissed him off he told me 'yes its true, what u gonna do about it'.
so i did what i had to do. we broke up.
only that later i found out it wasnt true about the trip to france.
anyways. i missed him. i love him.
so i called (should have asked u first!) in january. 2 months after the breakup. I TOLD HIM I MISS HIM , he said 'me too' and i told him the break should be over. to which he seemed to agree! he was all nice to me and was really happy. he told me he was gonna call me back 2 days after. which he never did... one monthe later
we meet on msn but never greet. it wont be before summer that were gonna see each other again.
but what we had is real. how can i get him back? sounds crazy and complicated but i really love the guy.
ps: the big problem is that his mom told him to stay away from me. can i fight that?
ps 2 : what about you? tell me everything.

oh and thanks for your never fading advices... again

Dear SweetyMary,

I think this is the same guy that you’ve been in a long distance relationship since being in Egypt for school.   I know you love him, but that’s in your heart and mind.  It wouldn’t matter what his mother told him about you, because if he really wanted to be with you he would be.  It’s true that he probably does miss you and I know you miss him too, but ask yourself do you really miss him or just the perfect idea of him.  If you really want to win him back then you have to ignore him and move on.  Start dating other men.  The more you chase after him the more he’ll pull away from you or push you away.  From his behavior it sounds like he likes the attention that you give him.  It’s a huge ego boost for anyone to be desired by another and since you have a past together it’s doubly rewarding for him when you call him up begging for his time and attention. 

At this point love, I think he’s just manipulating your feelings for him and being very cruel to you.  Normal well adjusted boys and men don’t lie to the women that they date nor do they play passive aggressive mind games with them.  Don’t tell him you miss him anymore, because really deep down you don’t miss him.  You’re in love with the idea of being in love and that’s not a bad thing in itself.  I feel for you because I too am a hopeless romantic.  There is one girl, Elle,  I’ve been chasing after for the past two years and I adore her, but really I hardly know her.  I just recently went out on a platonic date with her again this past week and had a most splendid time after not seeing her for quite some time.  I’ve been texting or emailing her on rare occasion over the past year to try and stay in contact with her.  She requires a ridiculously large amount of personal space and it’s finally dawned on me that she’s probably just not that interested in me. They’re her reasons and nothing I can say or do will ever change her disposition toward me. Haha, but still I pursue her.  I think it’s the thrill of the chase. I love to chase after Elle, even if deep down I know that I’ll never win her over.

I dated a girl, Holly, briefly in January, she was my New Years kiss, and I was so enthralled by her and the surreal way we first met.  Her voice, her smell, texting her between classes, everything about her was shear perfection…but only in my mind.  I knew she wasn’t that into me, but I ignored it in my delusional state of euphoric new girl bliss.  I was like an over eager puppy vying for her attention!  When she broke it off with me over a text message my heart just sank.  What a ridiculous way to get dumped, eh?  On top of that all I could think about was wanting to hold her and kiss her one last time, and do everything in my power to win her over, but she’s moved on and so I’ve let her go.  If I tried to pursue her, she’d only recoil away even more, basically at this point she needs to pursue me if she changes her mind.  That’s a big if though, for whatever reason she was put off on our blossoming relationship and she’s decided to not see me anymore.

During this entire time I’d been talking to another girl, Natalie, that I met at a mutual friends birthday party.  She took an interest in me and I chatted her up a few times and actually turned her down for two invitations before finally meeting her and a bunch of her friends to go dancing.  The reason I had turned her down was because I was obsessively chasing after Holly.  It was about a week after Holly dumped me that Natalie had invited me out a third time.  Instead of staying home feeling sorry for myself, I made myself go out and party with Natalie and her friends.  We danced the night away and were completely lost in the closeness and playful flirting.  She needed a ride home, but when we got to my car she coyly suggested that she’d rather go over to my place.  So that’s what we did.  We watched the tele’ and talked and snuggled until we fell asleep in each other’s arms.  I’ve been dating Natalie since that first week in February. 

The point I’m trying to make, the decision I’ve been trying to steer your heart to make over the past year or so is this:  Let this guy go and move on.  Make a choice in your own mind to break up with him.  Choose not to love him anymore.  Allow yourself to date other boys and men, because out there somewhere is a great guy that won’t be cruel to you, who won’t ignore you when you text him or call him or try to chat him up on Facebook or MSN, but most of all he’ll be his own person.  One that makes his own decisions regardless of the opinions of others or of his mother.
I know right now that all you want to do is make things work with this guy, but you have to ask yourself why is it so hard?  Why do you have to make so much of an effort just to win this guy over and garner his attention?  It’s not your fault, he just hasn’t any clue how amazing you are and what a great GF you would be if he cared for you and was respectful toward you.

There is a man out there for you SweetyMary, but it’s defiantly not this one that you’ve been chasing after for the past year and a half or so.  So break up with him and move on with your life and stop living in a self induced fantasy world.  Only the gods know that I’ve imagined Elle as the mother of my children and how amazing she is and how much I want to love her and be with her, but it’s a fantasy that I’ve built up in my own mind.  Fix that for yourself, start living in the here and now.  It’s okay to have hopes and dreams, but you can’t make anyone love you and wasting days, weeks, months, or even years pining away after someone who doesn’t reciprocate those feelings is a complete waste of time and energy. 

True love is patient and kind, but most of all it’s based on trust, honor, and time.  So follow your heart’s desire and live the life that you want to lead.  The perfect person for you is along your path in life.  You just have to be willing to let go of the past and dead end relationships.  Keep forging ahead with new friends and maintaining the special relationships that you forge with your long time friends and family.  The more people you know, more likely you will end up meeting someone special that you click with.

Regards,
Kellie Leah

sweetymary wrote:

thank you kellie.
i can inly think about all what you told me. it is so difficult and it hurts and it only means it's right.
a lot of things happened after that posts.
i dont know what to do to just let go. i think he is the one and only forever. but then i see how amazing people like jenifer aniston dealt with more serious break ups and im happy and i have a little bit of hope.
thank you

It's hard at first, but with each passing day it gets a little bit easier.  Just choose to be happy, choose to move on, and choose to let your heart get ready to love someone new.  I'm sorry that you're hurting right now.  I know how you feel, my last serious GF crushed me when she left me to marry her ex-BF and I was a complete mess for over a year after that and single for the next three. 

We can't control people and how they treat us, but we don't have to let anyone be hurtful or cruel to us either.  It may just take you some time, but take the blinders off woman! There has to be other boys/men that you are interested in dating, eh?

Just know that it's not instantaneous, there is no magic pill to make the hurt go away, and that it will take time to move on, but that one day you will move on and be completely over this guy.

Fret not my pet! A beautiful wonderful man is in your future, you just have to open your eyes and start dating as many boys as possible.  In fact now might be the best time to actually date men.  You've just been hurt and rejected by someone you love, someone that you must choose to let go, so you will be in prime condition to use laser-X-ray vision on these silly boys asking you out and vying for your attention.  Are they just playing games, or are they someone with a good heart?  There's nothing more enticing than a woman that isn't overly eager to fall in love or be in a relationship...oddly enough it usually works out that you'll find someone special again quicker the sooner you start dating other people again.

Good Luck SweetyMary! It's going to be okay!

Last edited by Kellie Leah (03-27-2010 08:49)

hbksgirl2k8 wrote:

hey sorry if this has already being posted
i've been in a long-distnace relationship with a guy for 2 years (2years today actually) but recently things havent been going to well. He only ever seems to talk to me when he wants something or we fight. i still really realy love him even thuogh we rarely see each other anymore but there is now someone else i like also, who i would be able to see every day if we dated. i dont know what to do i really love my bf, but really like this guy too, and i do feel like im missing out on stuff because i cant see my bf much.
what should i do??

Looks like you've found a new BF! Long distance relationships don't work out, usually.  From your description it seems like your 2-year BF is being mean and distant.  I know you love him, but it's probably best if you leave him and start dating new people.  The thing is you've been together for so long it's like a security blanket now, but your relationship is dysfunctional.  How can you be mean and cruel to someone you love? It's okay to fight sometimes, not everyone agrees 100% of the time, but there is a right way and a wrong way to discuss differences and argue.

Break free from the shackles of this old long distance BF and embrace the newness and wonder of the new guy that you can see almost everyday!  I think you'll find that with time, you'll get over your soon to be ex-BF and move on. 

Just be cool about it.  Call up your ex-BF and tell him that you're breaking up with him.  That you want to date other people and that he should do the same.  Be firm and don't change your mind, just be brief, let him know and then get off the phone and go play with your new man!

He'll probably try to work things out with you and be all sweet and loving, but if he does he's totally being a jerk face, I mean come-on?! Why couldn't he be all sweet and loving to you before you told him you were breaking up with him.  On the flip side he might be completely relieved and agree to the breakup or even indifferent.

In my opinion, it sounds like he's distancing himself in your relationship and wants to break up with you, he just doesn't have the stones to do it himself.  So take charge of your love life, dump him, and move on to dating someone that's closer to where you live.  I've been dating this girl that lives only three miles from my house and it's fabulous and super convenient when we have free time to hang out together!  I've also dated a girl that lived over 200 miles away and it was really hard on both of us. 

Long distance can work, but I don't think you should place that kind of stress on yourself or in a dating relationship, it's just not worth it unless you're both 100% sure that you want to get married and start a family together and that the time apart is only temporary.

Last edited by Kellie Leah (03-28-2010 08:18)

What do you u do when your bff talks about ur crush with his sister sitting like right behind u listening and u sit next to him in class and have to face him the next day?

From my long time experience with having mostly guy friends for th emost part it is usually a nice way of turning down a girl and breaking up without the girl hysterically crying and going insane.... It's a very cowardly way out though to be honest. Your best bet is to think of it as a break up and move on. Enjoy your Easter holiday and have some fun, see what he says afterwards and remember if he did a "break" thing once he can easily just do it again.
Some loser guys also find a "break" as a good reason to cheat. They figure sine your not "together" its ok.
Honestly though when you get older and the guys in your life become men things like "breaks" no longer exist. I did the whole "break" thing in high school and it always always lead to us breaking up officially.
Like I said its not something that happens when your older so I say just move on....

Yes I'm aware I'm nto a guy so sorry for answering but I'll say that it depends on the age and the guys maturity. Also depends on the ways he is teasing you.

MysteriousPanda99 wrote:

there this person i like , and he is a year younger then me , abut we are in teh same class ( but in differnet schools) i really like him. should i telll him , or should i wait cuz i dont know if he likes me back? i am only 11 by the way

Tell him but be prepared to be rejected.

AlexM1990 wrote:

OnlyHannah wrote:

ok ive got a question about boys

if i say im not ready yet, do you think he will leave me?

ive been scared stiff for weeks, i want him to be happy and i dont want to loose him, my best friend did it and he left her, ive been with him a year, have i left him waiting too long?

If he really loves you he won't leave you. Whether a relationship survives or not is based on sex, then it's not a very strong one, imo.

If he truly cares then he will wait until you are ready. Talk to him about your worries and your fears...if he cares then he'll understand.

  No , they wont leave us alone .     do you like wen you see other gurls git touch in other areas ? yea or no ?

hello sexy fellas