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I've seen this from multiple forums that I cruise, and more recently here. I mean no insult to these women... but it begged the question.
Harassment from guys on the internet? Guys are picking on you because you're female... well, guys would pick on you if you were a guy as well... only you don't see that because rather than focus on something else, they focus on the fact that you're female. No big deal, that's the way most guys on the internet are. They're rude and think they can get away with saying anything, because most of the time they can... and most of the time it doesn't really bother people, because it's usually all in fun.
Being mean to each other? Well, some people take rude comments too far, and I'll accept that. But really... everyone is different and everyone has their own opinion. Not everyone is going to like what other people have to say. Being mean for the sake of being mean is one thing, but arguing and disagreeing with other people's opinions... even in a rude manner, isn't anything to be offended by.
Maybe it's because everyone is so use to only being around people who agree with them. Or maybe it's because some people really are that thin skinned... but just because a bunch of letters on a computer screen are telling you one thing doesn't mean you have to get all emotional about it. Sure there's a person behind those letters... but it's like taking snapshots of time. You don't know that person, you don't know what that person is like in real life or what they're going through at the time. Learn to grow some skin, and if you can't take what people have to say, then don't. There's a big "X" up in the top right hand corner that gives you that ability.
People should stop learning to be so politically correct... and stop being so polite and just learn to deal with it and respond... or don't respond. It's your choice. But it's also the choice of the people writing the posts or the responses to be rude and politically incorrect. Why should they have to conform to your standards?
This of course doesn't mean that those people should also have free reign to say what ever they want when ever they want to say it... it's just... well, most of the time when people are freely sharing their opinions and thoughts other people get thin skinned and emotional about it.




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As one of the "mean" people on this forum, I completely agree. Stay off public chat boards if you're so worried about typed words on a computer screen. Ridiculous.
Not everyone is going to see things from your point of view, and when you post something another has issue with, expect to get replies that are in disagreement. Also remember that typed words have no emotion or human nuances behind them-you have no clue what the person is thinking when they're typing, so what you take as rude or blunt might be meant in an entirely different context. And if it's not, who really cares at the end of the day?
Put on your big girl panties and deal with it.
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I find that people get so upset with some of this stuff highly amusing. I get called worse things every day when I'm a work because of the job I'm in. If I took it personally, I'd have to go be a hermit. I talk the same way here as I do out in the world. I have no tact, tell it like it is, and am not going to lie to you in order for you to feel better. I will survive if I'm not liked by one of the thousands of people on this website. 
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I have a real life stalker/harrasser who I am due to be in court with in less than a week. I am rather offended that people cry stalking and harassment on this site because of interwebz dramah. It's actually a very scary and disconcerting thing to deal with IRL.
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Dawn....I'm the popo.....I harass and anger people every day. It is my life. 
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Ha-I'm a child advocate (yes, it's true!) and I don't try to harass people at all, but sometimes it seems like I do! Usually it's CPS and stuff I seem to be harassing...lol.
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I have tried harassing CPS....their idea of "imminent danger" and mine apparently varies greatly. I have little respect for that part of the system. One guy even said to me, why are you calling us. I told him it was our policy when a child was present during a domestic. He said, "well, you know we don't even investigate half of your cases." I said, probably and that's why we've had two kids die after being returned to abusive parents. He hung up on me. 
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a holes some of them are...for real. some actually try to help, but some are just on their power trips and couldn't care less about the kids themselves.
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Absolutely. I think there needs to be a lot more accountability where the child welfare system is. But, having known a lot of people in that field, I also know there is a high burn out rate.
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Where is my stalker dangit. I'm gonna have to start stalking myself. Leaving myself creepy notes in my lunches and watching myself bathe and stuff.
*slaps own hand* Knows real stalking is not fun or funny, but very very scary and hopes it never happens to me.
An Apple a day keeps the doctor away. Think Different. 
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Some people live and work in environments where people are blunt or very blunt. As an extreme, take Hollywood script writers. They think panic and yelling are how professionals deal with life-and-death situations.
Other people live and work in environments where things are carefully thought out, and a lot of time is wasted on courtly behaviour. As an extreme, take lawyers. Years are wasted in court proceedings because they follow hundred-year-old traditions.
In the middle you have firefighters, paramedics and nurses taking careful striding steps.
And their are geographic and cultural differences too. The fast paced blunt speaking of New York, versus the slow paced genteel speaking of places further south.
----
The written word is a lot more powerful than the spoken word.
Many many people see criticism in writing in a forum as written criticism, the same way they see written criticism in a job review or petition sent around the neighbourhood.
But really, a forum is less formal, less serious culture. It isn't a IM or PM environment. It isn't private. But it isn't like a job review. People are posting what they are thinking at that time. It isn't long, carefully thought out and considered.
So readers shouldn't take criticism in a forum too seriously.
At the same time, speaking generally, posters who criticize should continue to focus on the issue not the individual.
And posters should remember that it is very difficult to convey write sarcasm and sarcastic jokes in writing in a way that Brits, Americans, Canuks, Aussies, and Kiwis will all understand. Still, when it's done correctly, it is very funny. So people will try. 
Last edited by LOquence (06-11-2008 18:50)
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brittt wrote:
mine didn't leave notes, weird phone calls, and lurking outside yes, but no notes.
I had a stakler when I was 19 or 20, right? This guy used to live next door to me when I was a kid-a LITTLE kid, maybe 4 or 5-and my family moved and I never thought about him again. He was in his late thirties to early forties at the time, so by the time I was 20 he was around 60.
So one day out of the blue, he calls my house-looked me up in the phone book. I thought it was odd, but was congenial, and just sort of blew it off. Then he starts being REALLY weird-calling all the time, sending flowers, and not plain old flowers, but like, funeral flowers. Comes to my house and leaves a note on my door "Cute kids." Sent me letters in the mail with pictures of his mother in a casket, pieces of christmas trees, asking weirdo questions about my resemblance to kelly bundy and if i was involved with the mafia...really freaky stuff.
The OP was useless, didn't do a dang thing except encourage him to fill out over a hunderd magazine subscriptions and have them all mailed and billed to me. So I had my guy friends call him and threaten his earthy existance if he didn't leave me alone. Never heard form the freak again.
The current stalker is a little different--woman I never met, being a real freak--coming to my house when I'm not home, sending me flowers with weirdo notes, calling family members out of the phone book, sending hundreds of texts, threatening to show up at my gym, stalking me at my karate school, ect. Her trial is next week. I can't wait.
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wow!! the worst stalk-ish experience i ever had was my ex bf. He was really controlling and when i moved away, he got in some trouble back in my hometown. He wanted to come stay with me to get away for a while. When i told him no, he went insane...threatening to kill me and my brother (who i lived with), he said he knew where i was and wasn't going to stop until he either killed me or himself...fortunately he got arrested the next day on various charges and will be in prison for a very very long time!
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Very elegantly put Loquence, as a matter of fact almost everything you write seems to be well thought out.
I'm not the nicest person on the internet... but I'm far from the meanest. I see these posts where people say that everyone should have more common courtesy on forums and the like... but they tend to forget that what is "common" for them isn't always "common" for someone else.
In my walk of the world (groups of friends, work and family), if you don't do your very best to state your opinion then you are not being very respectful to the other person. It's as good as lying. But here on the internet you run across people who think you're being disrespectful to the other person for doing the same thing.
It's crazy.
As for the stalking thing... ugh, I've been stalked and it's not been fun. But for those that don't consider internet stalking a real threat... you know World of Warcraft? Well, there was this kid on my server who got it up his craw to start stalking this older guy. He went to the guy's guild forum and hacked into it and pretended like he was a couple of different people (close friends of the guy) and got this guys personal information.
He then proceeded to post all of this guys personal info on the WoW forums, and in game. The DM's did nothing, and they left the posts on the forum despite multiple complaints from a ton of people... could even still be there. In game he would get a few hours suspension now and again... but this went on for 2 years. 2 YEARS, every two or three months the guy would start up anew. He had four or five accounts and used them for the sole purpose of messing with this guy.
The guy would get phone calls from this kid, to the point that he had to change his number. He then started getting threatening letters in the mail. The police got involved, and the guy ended up quiting WoW because of it... that was a sad day because he was one of those people that everyone on the server knew and almost everyone liked.
Internet stalking can turn ugly in the right hands.




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Well, yes, obviously internet stalking can BECOME dangerous, but to compare what happens here to real life stalking and harassment is absurd. I'm speaking specifically of CazzyJazzywhatever's ridiculous goodbye post.
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brittt wrote:
i had a stalker from a mommy forum online, who tried to move in w/ me. she lived in a different state and showed up at my house w/ her kids. when i said she couldn't live w/ me all heck broke loose.
dawn once said i could move to NY and live with her.
one day. *sigh* one day.
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I truly believe thin skinned individuals on the web are the type who are incapable of understanding the opposing viewpoint, and as such, they feel the need to have virtual temper tantrums because of it.
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Oh, and I am an internet meanie. I'll admit it flat out.
And really, I don't care if someone doesn't like me. That means I have done something very right.
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dawnm wrote:
Well, yes, obviously internet stalking can BECOME dangerous, but to compare what happens here to real life stalking and harassment is absurd. I'm speaking specifically of CazzyJazzywhatever's ridiculous goodbye post.
Well, just so it's understood... I didn't write this post directly because of that post, but also because of a few other posts a while back in another forum. Her post just reminded me of those posts and the questions that I had about that. I personally didn't really read much of her post because... well... I didn't know her so I couldn't really say anything on that point.
To Bobbee,
Be yourself. If someone doesn't like you for being yourself, then that's a good thing. It's better than them not liking you for a person you're pretending to be. It also makes those people that do end up liking you that much more sincere.




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the first post on here reminded me of when i first started playing xbox live. i was one of only 3 girls on this shooter game that i wasn't very good at but liked anyway. at first i didn't really talk to to anyone and my gamertag was pretty unisex so no one knew i was a girl until i started chatting with one of the 2 girls on there.
she told someone who told everyone, and the next thing i knew, i was being killed constantly while being called every derogatory term for a girl under the sun. but instead of letting it make me quit, i kept playing and the harassment made me try harder to get them back.
long story short, i ended up being in the top 10 players of all time in the world for this game. and whenever some guy who didn't know who i was would come along and say something stupid, i would flat out promise him that next match i would kill him and only him 20 times in a row and do it.
that approach wouldn't work on missbimbo, so i guess all you can do is deal or laugh.
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missdirected wrote:
the first post on here reminded me of when i first started playing xbox live. i was one of only 3 girls on this shooter game that i wasn't very good at but liked anyway. at first i didn't really talk to to anyone and my gamertag was pretty unisex so no one knew i was a girl until i started chatting with one of the 2 girls on there.
she told someone who told everyone, and the next thing i knew, i was being killed constantly while being called every derogatory term for a girl under the sun. but instead of letting it make me quit, i kept playing and the harassment made me try harder to get them back.
long story short, i ended up being in the top 10 players of all time in the world for this game. and whenever some guy who didn't know who i was would come along and say something stupid, i would flat out promise him that next match i would kill him and only him 20 times in a row and do it.
that approach wouldn't work on missbimbo, so i guess all you can do is deal or laugh.
On Halo they always think I'm a little boy. I'm not shy about being female on that game (I know you were probably talking about another game, but that's the only shooter I play), and have never really ran into problems. But oh boy do the guys get it on there... the names that I hear them calling each other!




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i always hated halo, no offense, but i was talking about timesplitters.
a friend of mine is crazy about halo but hates timesplitters, go figure lol
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Perhaps it's because some of us are more used to dealing with guys on the internet or in gaming, but I always have a good laugh when I see someone getting their panties in a twist on this board.
http://fiveonenine.com/board/read.php?3,621401,page=1 <- this is pretty tame as far as how some people get treated on the other forum I frequent.
If you can't handle some bad words, quit here.
http://fiveonenine.com/board/read.php?1,701422,page=1 <- Until people start treating you like this for no reason, get the sand out of your vag and either express yourself like an adult or stop feeding the trolls.
Last edited by Guernica (06-16-2008 20:23)
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Anang wrote:
I've seen this from multiple forums that I cruise, and more recently here. I mean no insult to these women... but it begged the question.
Harassment from guys on the internet? Guys are picking on you because you're female... well, guys would pick on you if you were a guy as well... only you don't see that because rather than focus on something else, they focus on the fact that you're female. No big deal, that's the way most guys on the internet are. They're rude and think they can get away with saying anything, because most of the time they can... and most of the time it doesn't really bother people, because it's usually all in fun.
Being mean to each other? Well, some people take rude comments too far, and I'll accept that. But really... everyone is different and everyone has their own opinion. Not everyone is going to like what other people have to say. Being mean for the sake of being mean is one thing, but arguing and disagreeing with other people's opinions... even in a rude manner, isn't anything to be offended by.
Maybe it's because everyone is so use to only being around people who agree with them. Or maybe it's because some people really are that thin skinned... but just because a bunch of letters on a computer screen are telling you one thing doesn't mean you have to get all emotional about it. Sure there's a person behind those letters... but it's like taking snapshots of time. You don't know that person, you don't know what that person is like in real life or what they're going through at the time. Learn to grow some skin, and if you can't take what people have to say, then don't. There's a big "X" up in the top right hand corner that gives you that ability.
People should stop learning to be so politically correct... and stop being so polite and just learn to deal with it and respond... or don't respond. It's your choice. But it's also the choice of the people writing the posts or the responses to be rude and politically incorrect. Why should they have to conform to your standards?
This of course doesn't mean that those people should also have free reign to say what ever they want when ever they want to say it... it's just... well, most of the time when people are freely sharing their opinions and thoughts other people get thin skinned and emotional about it.
As long as name calling, threats, lies and writing for the sake of being insulting is left out of it then I agree with what you're saying. Some people love taking things heart and getting all moany about it. Other people (like everyone) has their soft spots and quite rightly get annoyed if it's poked at. Arguments can start off as fun and then spin out of control causing upset. Remember that there are little kids on this site so you should use your judgement when picking the next "playful" fight. Girls will always be a bit bxxxhy but that doesn't mean that putting others down in front of their piers and causing them to feel humiliated is condonable. I've seen people leave this site because the fights have gotten out of control. You don't have to be politcally correct to avoid the obvious tactics of a bully. The way I see it if you get your rocks off by making fun of someone more than you would chatting about interesting subjects then I would have to say that you have a problem.
P.S a person shouldn't have to click the x because a few girls on their favourite site have decided to neglect using their own judgement when playing around with debates.
All I'm saying is that there is no need for insults.
Last edited by natashaxx (06-21-2008 02:53)
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I've been in a lot of controversial debates on forums. During one particular debate, my opponent decided to be rude to me, so I verbally smacked his face.
It doesn't pay to be thin-skinned or stupid on the internet. If you want sensitivity, talk to your dang counselor.
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