Blond jokes??

PoodleTang wrote:

PatricijaKeseric wrote:

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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LOL you had me there for a minute and I'm not even blonde 

i am blonde and she had me going, and then i realised shed forgotten to put the answer in, duh.
does anyone know the punchline??

alicewootton wrote:

PoodleTang wrote:

PatricijaKeseric wrote:

How do you keep a blonde busy for hours?

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<----- Scroll Up.

LOL you had me there for a minute and I'm not even blonde 

i am blonde and she had me going, and then i realised shed forgotten to put the answer in, duh.
does anyone know the punchline??

LOL There is no punchline... IT's meant to be like.. Makes the blonde scroll up and down for a while lol!

heres a gud un :

>A blonde walked into a shoe shop and saw a pair of shoes made from alligator skin that she liked. "How much for these shoes?" she asked the store manager. "$200", he replied. "That's too expensive! Can't you bring the price down?" The store manager said he couldn't, and got irratated when the blonde persisted. Finally after arguing with her for awhile he said, "There's a pond with alligators behind the store! Why don't you kill an alligator and get your alligator shoes free?!" he yelled. "Fine I will," the blonde replied. After an hour, the manager got a bit worried that the blonde might have come to harm with the alligators. He decided to go out and check on her. When he arrived at the pond, he saw the blonde lugging a dead alligator and flinging it on the ground next to 6 other dead ones. Before he could ask what she was doing, she wailed "Oh my gosj! This one doesn't have any shoes either!"

enjoy

x

There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. 

no 2...

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back into the house. A little later she came out of her house again, went to the mailbox and again opened it, and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went.

As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, she came out again, marched to the mailbox, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever.

Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, “Is something wrong?�� 

To which she replied, “There certainly is!�� 

My stupid computer keeps saying, “You’ve got mail!��   


no 3...
diary of a blonde

January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!! 

no.4
This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all
these blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid,
so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are
smart. While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is
going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.

The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets
down to the task at hand. Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and
smells the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living
room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at
the same time.

He goes over and asks her if she is OK. She replies yes. He asks
what she is doing. She replies that she wanted to prove to him
that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by
painting the house. He then asks her why she has a ski jacket
over her fur coat. She replies that she was reading the
directions on the paint can and they said....
FOR BEST RESULTS, PUT ON TWO COATS. 


   

heres another blond joke

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-piolet that there's a blonde bimbo sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beatiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

A blonde needs a haircut so shes goes to a barbers, She is wearing headphones so the Barber says, "Take them off so I can cut your hair!" The blonde replied, "I cannot or else, I will die!" The blonde left.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - Next Day - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - The next day she returned, still wearing her headphones. The same barber was now getting annoyed... "Take off your head phones!" The blonde, being a blonde, says, "Ok.." And dies what did the headphones say?

Another one!

A blonde, brunnette, and a red head were being chased by cops because of a bank robbery that occurred! They ran into a barn.... The brunnette hid behind a cow, the red head hid behind a horse, and the blonde hid behind a sack of potatoes. The cops ran into the barn and passed the cow. "Moo!" said the brunnette. The police moved onto the horse, "Neigh!" Said the red head. But when they passed the sack of potatoes, the blonde said, "Potatoes, potatoes, potatoes." She was caught!

Sarahbella99 wrote:

okay, i've been reading some of jokes, and they are sooo funny- im not sure if some people will get my joke, btw-  i happen to be a strawberryblonde, and i take no offense whatsoever in hearing/ reading blonde jokes- i really like the ones with the brunette, the redhead, AND the blonde- they are the best- whenevr my friends call me blonde- you know what i say- I don't mind you calling me blonde, because its true- im as dumb as a blonde, and as tempermental as a redhead ( )   and now, for the joke : 

One day, a man goes to the beach, and he sees a hot blonde lifegaurd, so, wanting to use his new pickup line, he says to here : " Hey- im having some trouble with my breast-stoke, think you can help me ( )"   obviously she misunderstood, because she pushed him into the water, jumped in after him, and started explaining...      




anyone get it??

ye i get it. but even if i didnt get what its surpose to mean i still found my own joke out of it. so ye its funny

Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.

After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."

The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."

Q: How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: Two, one to hold the light bulb and one to spin the ladder around!  

a blond orders a pizza. the waiter asks her if he should cut the pizza in 6 or 8 egual slices. the blonds says,"cut it in 6 slices i am not hungry enough to eat 8 slices"