Blond jokes??

hifigirl wrote:

bimbo120195 wrote:

Ellie0792 wrote:

there was a blonde on an aroplane with 4 engines. she was reading her magazine. there was an announcement from the Piolot: our first engine has brroken so there will be a 15 minit delay, the blonde said o wel im not in a hurry, 5 minits later the Piolot says :our 2nd engine has broken so there will be a 45 minit delay the blond says o wel not a big deal . 10 minits later the pilot says :our 3rd engine has broken so there will be a 2hr delay . the blonde says: if the 4th engine brakes then weel be up here all day

I don't get this one.

If the 4th engine breaks then the plane wouldn't be able to fly, it would just come crashing down.

Ohh. Well, I feel blonde now.

She goes Two sisters, one blonde and one brunette, inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need
to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they
can breed their own stock. They only have $600 left.

Upon leaving, the brunette tells her sister, "When I get there, if I
decide to buy the bull, I'll contact you to drive out after me and
haul it home."

The brunette arrives at the stockyard, inspects the bull, and
decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it
for $599 - no less.

After paying him, she drives to the nearest town to send her sister
a telegram to tell her the news.

She walks into the telegraph office, and says, "I want to send a
telegram to my sister telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch.
I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive it here
so we can haul it home."

The telegraph operator explains that he'll be glad to help her, then
adds, "It's just 99 cents a word."

Well, after paying for the bull, the brunette only has $1 left. She
realizes that she'll only be able to send her sister one word.

After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says, "I want you to
send her the word 'comfortable'."

The operator shakes his head. "How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to your pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word 'comfortable'?"

The brunette explains, "My sister's a blonde. The word's big. She'll read it very slowly ..... com-for-da-bull"..

kixi1994 wrote:

Q: how can you tell if a blonde's been using a computer?
A: you'll find tipex all over the screen!

How do you know another blonde has been on the same computer?
Theres writing on the tipex


xXx

Definition of cruel - put a blonde in a circular room and tell her there is a mars bar in the corner.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: So she wouldn't wake up the sleeping pills.

A blonde was walking along, when she looked up to observe a bird flying overhead. Suddenly, the bird drops a load when it was directly over her. The blonde says,
"Good thing I had my mouth open, or that would've hit me right in the face!!!"

Q: What do you call it when a blonde dies their hair brunette?
A: Artificial intelligence.

Q: Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?
A: It takes too long to retrain them.

A blonde saw a "¿" on her computer screen and asked another blonde,
"How do you do that?" She responded . . .
"Simple, turn the keyboard upside down!"

xXx

i dont even kno how i remember these....i ges from herein them all so many times

Last edited by bubbles07r12 (07-11-2008 02:24)

A blonde decides that she's had enough of being called a dumb blonde and dyes her hair black. She goes for a drive in the countryside and meets a farmer, who is driving his sheep into a paddock.
The blonde says "If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I have one?"
"Sure" says the farmer.
So the blonde looks at the sheep and thinks for a while, and finally says "300!" She takes a sheep.
"You're right" says the farmer. "now, if I can guess what colour your hair was before you dyed it black, can I have my dog back?"

A blonde is low on money, so asks her neighbour if he has any odd jobs that need doing.

"Well, I guess you could paint the porch." he replies. A few hours later, the blonde knocks on her neighbour's door, covered in sweat and paint.
"I'm done!" She pants.  "And I gave it three coats, just in case."
"That's great!" says her neighbour.
The blonde then adds, proudly "Oh, but I thought you should know, I figured out that it's not actually a porche, it's a ferrari!"

LMAO

xoxo
Ruby

hahaha i love blonde jokes!!! i was a blonde all my life until recenltly when i fancied going brunette! don't really like it but oh well.

heres one:

a red head a brunette were jumping from one platform over a train track to another platform at a train station. as they were jumping they were saying "sixteen, sixteen.."

a blonde turned up and said "ooh can i join in" they both said yes.

so there they all are jumping from one platform to another saying "sixteen, sixteen"

all of a sudden a train comes along and the red head and brunette stop jumping, the blonde carries on and gets hit by the train.

the red head and the brunette carry on jumping saying "seventeen, seventeen..."

haha love it!!

anzy121 wrote:

how dya keep a blonde occupied fo hours and hours?
give em a piece of paper that says turn over on both sides

oh my godd, that is so funny

haha

lol i love these - i mean I'm blonde - but ya gotta have a sence of humor -

i now realise that the joke i posted has already been said sorry