Hi everyone, I'm a young professional and a computer programmer, and I really have a problem meeting girls. It's not a rejection issue, it's that I can't seem to find them. I don't have much luck meeting girls at bars, and most of my interests are guy-oriented (like board-gaming; although there are some girls out there who do it, the odds of meeting a single girl at a gaming function are pretty slim). So what is it girls do, so I can mingle with them? I'd be happy to pick up a new interest of some kind if I could meet some cute girls around my age. Any advice?
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maybe go to an art fair, or a coffeshop.
it all depends on the kind of girl you are looking for really.
i found my soulmate 5 houses down from me 
just be honest and dont lie

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Go to a party or have a party that singles are invited to. Diners work too, ice cream shops, malls. Think like a girl. What age are we talking about? Is the area around you girl friendly? i.e. things for girls to do. Bookstores also work.

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A-step away from the computer.
B-go outside
HTH
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Go to a strip club, you'll see plenty of chicks there...
Seriously though, it depends on your type of girl. You meet sluts in bars, you meet the good girls in church.
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ReginaForbes wrote:
Go to a strip club, you'll see plenty of chicks there...
Seriously though, it depends on your type of girl. You meet sluts in bars, you meet the good girls in church.
oh oh oh ....i beg to differ!!
why would a bar be a lady of the night hangout? I hang out in bars all the time, and I am a LONG cry from a lady of the night.
Churches are for good girls? Haven't you ever seen Footloose? Sheesh...
and don;t even get me STARTED on the Catholic church fiascos.
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You might try the gym, either joining one or utilizing a free one at your apartment complex, workplace, or campus. I've met a lot of nice people that way because they seem to let their guard down and be more open to conversation. There's also a website called meetup.com that helps you find others with similar interests in your area. Even if you make more guy friends, those guys will have female buddies or sisters.
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BeatlesBabe: An art fair isn't a bad idea, if there are any around here. I've been trying coffee shops, but I think I need to find ones with more single girls and fewer families and couples.
Gwendollyn: One of the problems with knowing mostly geeks is that out get-togethers are all guys. Most of the people I know are a.) already in relationships and b.) from work, but I could try looking into some of the open college parties downtown.
ReginaForbes and dawnm: I went after a church girl a while back, and eventually she invited me to her church on Sunday. It turns out she had a boyfriend and she was trying to convert me.
toadsdirtybutt: There is a mall nearby me, but wouldn't you think is was wierd if a random guy came up to you in the mall and started talking about the weather?
JadedRenee: I used to go to a gym, and everyone exercised in silence while listening to their iPods. Any suggestions on how to break the ice while exercising? I've looked into meetup, but gaming functions don't promise to provide girls or ladies' men.
Thanks for the advice, I hope I don't sound negative, just conveying that I do try. And I know love is possible anywhere: a friend of mine met his girlfriend online playing World of Warcraft. Following that act is sort of like planning to become rich by buying scratch-off lottery tickets.
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what does a computer programmer actually do?


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its summer. I'd say hit the park or beach.
even if you dont find one there then you will get a sexy tan which will attract them in the bars and clubs 
xxx
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BimboLover08 wrote:
JadedRenee: I used to go to a gym, and everyone exercised in silence while listening to their iPods. Any suggestions on how to break the ice while exercising? I've looked into meetup, but gaming functions don't promise to provide girls or ladies' men.
Hmm, that's ... boring. The gym at my apartment complex has a CD player in it; sometimes I'll ask someone else if it's okay if I put in a CD or if I can borrow one of theirs. If I'm having a hard time getting through my workout and someone else seems to be working hard too, I'll make a wisecrack or something. If people don't want to talk, they don't, but a lot of them will. The other gyms I've been to generally have TVs on, especially during major sporting events or really popular shows. That's spurred tons of conversations; especially Gray's Anatomy, Battlestar Galactica, Stargate, and football season. As for meetup, join the young professionals ones if they're out there in your area.
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You do like some type of music, I assume. Try hitting some concerts of your choice. Already, for sure you know any women you meet there share at least your music taste. Same goes for if you like any other type of performing arts.
If you have any musical talent at all, that can also be another way. My first two boyfriends were in the same orchestra I was in.
Do you have a cause you want to volunteer for? Try that. You can start talking about the issue while working together and start then figuring out if the woman is single and receptive. It opens up opportunities to network with any female friends of your fellow volunteers. You'll be doing something for the greater good on top of searching for a partner.
Do you like crafts? You could start getting interested in something like knitting or sewing and searching out a sewing or knitting circle. It's a big trend right about now. Even if the particular crafting circle you find has older women, that doesn't mean that they don't have younger relatives they wouldn't mind introducing you to.
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heyyyy guys im a girl...and i would like to say that i would like a guy to take me too the movies!
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well there are cuples bar try there! also try going to a restront.theres alot of girls there!
:>
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Liney: Mostly, we drink coffee and read slashdot. When that gets dull, there are always software bugs to fix, but only as a last resort.
hannimoon: It's good advice, but at the park I tend to frequent a lot of girls are sunbathing in bikinis. Kind of hard to strike up a conversation without seeming...obvious.
JadedRenee: I think I could be going to the wrong gym. I definitely have opinions about sci-fi.
Loderi: Lots of good ideas! I don't play any instruments and most of my favorite bands are dissolved or dead, but I'm not picky. The last time I volunteered at the Salvation Army they put me in the back of the kitchen alone slicing luncheon meat, I should try another organization. As for knitting, that might be worth a try.
sam77373: At least you can tell people that you're not patronizing the vulgar merchants of mass banality known as "Hollywood". Be sure to do the finger-quotes motion when you say it.
tinkerbel101: Bars are probably where I need to go, as for restaurants, I don't think I'm good enough to approach a group of girls in a booth at the Olive Garden and look natural.
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You might want to try an internet dating site, if you haven't already. Since you're a computer programmer it might be more in your comfort zone, and much less intimidating and creepy than approaching random women while they're bra shopping. Stick with a free site though, don't pay a ton of money since you're still pretty young and not that many young people pay for a dating site but a lot of them will join one for free. I recommend OkCupid, that's where I met somebody. But girls get hit on a lot on the internet, so be original and catch their attention. But above all, be patient. After all, good things come to those who wait, right?
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cinnamonTrixie wrote:
You might want to try an internet dating site, if you haven't already. Since you're a computer programmer it might be more in your comfort zone, and much less intimidating and creepy than approaching random women while they're bra shopping. Stick with a free site though, don't pay a ton of money since you're still pretty young and not that many young people pay for a dating site but a lot of them will join one for free. I recommend OkCupid, that's where I met somebody. But girls get hit on a lot on the internet, so be original and catch their attention. But above all, be patient. After all, good things come to those who wait, right?
I agree, I met someone online in a chat room and we dated 5 years. Anyway you choose, just be yourself, and Good Luck!!
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I always find random men talking to me slightly sinister... If you can dance (or at least not look like an idiot while on the dance floor) I'd recommend going clubbing. I could never resist a man who can and will dance.
Don't worry about the geek/techie thing either. All the girls I know adore geeks. In fact both I and three of my dearest friends are dating/engaged to computer guys 
You said you have problems meeting women in bars - are you actually speaking to them, or just to shy? I'd recommend slightly chicky pubs, or wine bars rather than smelly boozers for picking girls up. The club's still your best bet. I'd recommend a goth club since the girls tend to be more relaxed about random guys...
Good luck.
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No offense to anyone, but I've never taken anyone serious when approached in a bar. I'm there to hang out with the girls.
Perhaps you should try something simple. I met my fella by just sitting down next to him at a picnic table at work and small talking. It may take some time to develop into what you are looking for, but at least it would be more honest.
Definitely put yourself out there. Stray away from your routine. You won't meet a lady by keeping to yourself!
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BimboLover08 wrote:
Liney: Mostly, we drink coffee and read slashdot. When that gets dull, there are always software bugs to fix, but only as a last resort.
Sounds fun! 


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Go to groceryshops en watch if the girl is single or not by cheqing here grocerys. If so then smile to her. Cheque if she is smiling back or not. Go back at the same time she was doing the shoping the first time. Ask a question, any will do. After saying hi and hello a while, ask if she wants to go for a cup of coffie in a NICE coffieshop nearby. Then talk to her. DON't ask her home after the first date.
Hmmmm, I wish a nice looking guy would hit on me that way :-)
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cinnamonTrixie and Malibu021604: I think dating sites are a bit too much inside my comfort zone, as I've tried them for a while and haven't gotten anywhere. I used to belong to a few and would send out personalized e-mails to girls on a regular basis, almost never receiving a response. Then one day as an experiment, I tried making a profile as a girl. I left the keyboard and when I came back ten minutes later I had four messages. I think the moral is that I'm not the only guy whose comfort zone is behind the keyboard.
PiratePips: I can't really dance, but a wine bar sounds like a great scene to me. I should look for one, I'm doing quite well at teaching myself to tell different wines apart.
gigimalibu: Solid advice but small talk has to go somewhere. When I make small talk with girls it ends with us eventually parting ways, probably never to meet again.
littlehelper17: I like it! I'm going to give it a try 
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Good luck to you!
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you always find something when you stop lookiing for it.... you know how you cant remember a name or a song title then you forget about it and all of a sudden you will remember! its the same with love...
everytime i have got a new boyfriend i havent wanted one i have wanted to be single....
so maybe stop looking and she will come to you
xXx
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Forget girls and turn to boys?
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