
Subject: TO ALL EMPLOYEES
SICK LEAVE POLICY
SICKNESS:
Sickness is no excuse. we will no longer accept your
doctor's statement as proof. We believe that if you are
able to go to the doctor, you are able to come to work.
AN OPERATION:
We are no longer allowing this practice. We wish to
discourage any thoughts that you may need an operation.
We believe that as long as you are an employee here, you
will need all of what ever you have and should not
consider having anything removal of. We hired you as you
are and to have anything removed would certainly make you
less than we bargain for.
DEATH:
OTHER THAN YOUR OWN:
This is no excuse for missing work. There's nothing you
can do for them, and we are sure that someone else can
attend to the arrangements. However, if the funeral can
be held in the late afternoon, we will be glad to allow
you to work through your lunch hour and subsequently like
you leave one hour early, providing a year share of the
working is that had enough to keep the job going into
your absence.
YOUR OWN:
This will be accepted as an excuse. However, we require
at least two weeks notice as we feel it is your duty to
train your replacement.
ALSO:
Entirely too much time is being spent in the restaurant.
In the future, we will follow the practice of going in
alphabetical order. For instance, those whose names
begin with "A" will go at 8:00 AM. Those whose names
begin with "B" will go at 8:15 AM, and so on. If you're
unable to go at your time, it will be necessary to wait
until the next day when a time comes to get.
We appreciate your cooperation.
Sincerely,
MANAGEMENT
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lol thats a good one, the downside to it is Im sure many employers would like to implement that now a days 
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OMG if I worked in a place like that I would either quit or get myself fired...
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OMG, that sounds like my Job. If you get ill they still expect you in unless you can't actually leave your bed. A work friend of mine hurt her knee really badly and she could hardly walk and they still expected her to come in. It's not like she even as a sit down job, she's on her feet all day.
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