Haha, your first time sounded eventful.

I'm afraid mine is boring.  I was 16, he was 22.  He was also a virgin, with a 4 and a half inch c*ck and a tight foreskin... go figure, the whole thing was torture.  It was in my parents house, on their sofa.  I laid there, pretending it felt good and then afterwards, we laid there and I thought to myself "...is that it?"  He lasted for around 20 minutes, since he took breaks here and there but it was really an awful experience.  I went off to be on my own for a while afterwards.

I'm happy to say my current partner is much bigger and average and performs very well...  Thankfully.  No more boredom for me.

Ehly wrote:

Isnt funny stories about sex more fun than just about the first time? We have it on another forum Im on, hilarious!

sure! thats a good idea lets her 'em!

Oh well, I was on my period and it hurt not only because it was my first timeh , but because of that thing too and after that we both discovered that my pants and his underwear were all stained with my blood
He said "Don't worry, I can get it out with Vanish :]"
I had a pair of very light short jeans so he started scrubbing them with some Vanish solution... which only made the blood pink, but it would still not ... vanish .
So much for his liquid Vanish >.<
So it was already late and I had to go home 'cuz my dad would kill me. He gave me his sweater which was a very long one and covered my jeans. He's much taller than me and i think that saved me for giving an explanation for my bloody jeans
The next morning I was home alone (thanks god!) and I washed my jeans and let them dry along with other clothes, so my mom would not realize that I specially washed those jeans(she would've find out, because i NEVER wash clothes )
And I washed them so hard and so much that the skin from the back of my finger went off -.- I had a "living" memory of that day for long, and it was on my finger...

Last edited by KanameGackt (01-09-2012 16:54)

I had an argument with him during my first time. Rediculous!

I had been dating my boyfriend for about 6 months before our first time.  We did quite a bit leading up to it, but hadn't actually did the big IT for a while. 

We tried it in his parents car, but we both got really nervous and stopped before it actually happened.  A few days later we ended up doing it in my living room while my step mother was sleeping.  It was nice... I was kind of lucky, he was a great guy (ahem and well endowed).  Even now, 17 years later, we still talk a lot.

The only odd moment was after it was all said and done, he asked me if I was a virgin.  It kind of hurt my feelings, though he didn't mean for it to.  Made me feel like he thought I was some sort of slut at the time though... you'd think, if we waited for 6 months before doing anything... bah, anyway. 

The act itself wasn't really difficult or weird...  we just sort of... mixed well.  Hormones, instincts, not to mention the months non intercourse practice we had that led up to it... everything worked well and we were both pretty darn satisfied without ourselves after wards.

Mind you... I didn't find out until about a year and a half later that we missed the most exciting part of sex for the woman (imo), not only the first time, but the multitudes of times after that.  Neither of us knew about the clit.  (That's a little embarrassing, but hey, I was young and we didn't have the internet).

The first time I got naked with a boy, he tried to ease the tension by joking "It's not normally yellow, I am wearing a condom". I did that thing where I say "What?" even though I heard him perfectly the first time, so he had to repeat it, and the tension rocketed to about 5 million, hahah.

We did not manage to have sex on that occasion... I thought it would just slide in - it did not, probably due to said tension.

Btw yeah I guess it was a coloured condom, and I learnt later that he was in the habit of always putting a condom on before coming to see me, due to the delightful reality of Leakage.

Last edited by Typhani (01-10-2012 09:49)

Everything was pretty awkward and terrible about my first time. The guy meditated for 20 minutes before anything happened so that was the extent of the foreplay... nothing. I just kind of sat there watching him not knowing whether I should be quiet or talk. I also never told him I was a virgin because it was embarrassing for me... and that was incredibly stupid of me. So as soon as he's done meditating he just pounces on me and starts ripping my clothes off, and I'm like wtf half liking it-half trying to slow him down a little. And then he just goes and rams his c*ck in me like he's expecting my vagina to be a pocket pussy or some kind of sex toy contraption... and that is when I screamed. I screamed on the top of my lungs every word I could imagine. Then I screamed stop. And he stopped.

So my first time lasted, Oh I don't know, 3 seconds. I couldn't walk and bled for like 3 days. I probably should have seen a doctor because I'm pretty sure he tore something.

Amy881 wrote:

kinkymuffin wrote:

I had an argument with him during my first time. Rediculous!

really? what about if i can ask?

I was complaining about how much it hurt, and said it hurt all girls their first time (not necessarily true but it made me feel better about the situation) and he goes and argues this point while i'm lying there in pain And then he continues to throw me into shapes insisting he needed to break the hymen even though i knew full well that had broken years ago, disregarding the tears running down my face.

Hurt like hell. We tried for a few minutes and then I couldn't take it any more and started crying. He stopped, and I was so horrified I just sat there staring at nothing, he had to shake my shoulders to get me out of it . Then I turned around and there was a massive blood stain on his sheets, and I was even more horrified and started crying again. He was really sweet though. He comforted me, told me everything was ok, flipped the sheets and told me to lay down and just hugged me . After a while he gave me some of his clothes to sleep in and I stayed over.

My first time I was quite drunk, but I still remember it. My friend walked in on us so we decided to move down to the beach, but then the tide came in. It was actual a really funny experience and when we finally found a place to do it, it was pretty damn good.

Heres an embarrassing one, I would say this is in the top 3 for sure.
A few months ago I was at a party on campus at my unversity. Everyone was pretty drunk and I ended up spotting this really hot guy. So after flirting with him the whole night we end up back in his room. Alot of the details are pretty hazy from here on out, but unfortunately I remember this.. We started having sex, and I ended up queefing. I was absolutely mortified, and I wasnt sure if he thought I had farted. So I was like OMG I am soo sorry D: Thankfully he was cool enough and just said oh, its okay, dont worry about it. I was drunk enough at the time that I didnt let it ruin my night, so we kept going at it. I woke up the next morning completely embarrassed again, and then some. Unfortunately I still run into him in the halls once in a while, we havent talked since that night, but every time I see him I cringe.. lol

PS. I know drunk hookups are wrong, I learned my lesson. Please dont lecture me!

Why did I read this thread title as, Funny/awkward stories about your first NAME??