Thankyou, I thought it would be fun for everyone to share their writing, or even start or even just put on something that they like it doesn't have to even be a poem it could be a short bit of prose.

Ahh not many people are talking!!! It would be cool if you let me know if you are looking, anything just reply a hello! And put something you wrote on here if you want to, you could even privatly message me if you want someone who will be objective about stuff you write!

I just thought this would be cool, I will give it another month and stop posting on the thread if no one is interested.

Heres a mini story called eyebrows I wrote for a competitiion, I didn't send it in I was too nervous, its not to show off or anything just to get peoples ideas going:

It rises like the writhing of a thick black slug and I feel foolish. Lips do not move but laughter exudes from eyes framed perfect enough for even the work of artist hands. It twitches upwards more-amusement at my expense, my stomach sinks and my own eyebrows fall. I wish for them to cover me in darkness so that the world is shielded by coarse black hairs, I could sink with them deep down into my stomach lining. Then through to the bottom of my soles and the earth would swallow me whole, if not to reject me. Just like you and the sarcastic smile of your brow line as you say No.


Just thought it might get peoples ideas flowing, go for it. There can be a rule that there is no negative comments only positive, don't feel scared to post stuff!

here we go...sorry it took some time, i couldn't remember which memory stick i put it in.

well i wrote this piece mainly on the idea concerning the elderly, and how the respect they deserve is easily lost. to be honest i wrote this a few years back. one of my distant relatives back in pakistan were "disowened" by their kids, when they became old. this sort of behavior is quite common in southern eastern asia. as people grow old, they lose a lot more then just their physical features, they lose their family, house, and more importantly their roles in what part they had in their own family. i didn't write it so people would be "enlightened" by it (it is a rather small piece), but if it did hold something in their hearts then i'm pleased^^ please note that this is a short story. it's not very clear, i didn't really proof read it, only just when i was writing it up and then locked it away. excuse any grammer, spelling mistakes, and feel free to C & C (comment and critique) if you wish.

p.s: sorry for the long and pointless chit-chat^^

BURDEN:

You stare back at her cold eyes. Tired of her unresponsive nature. As you wipe bits of oatmeal from her chin you pass judgement at her features, which have all left her; her skins beauty, her hairs lustre, her colour, her life.

And you think of leaving her too- after all, she is nothing but a burden. Or a horrific reminder of what is to become of you in years to come. Either way, it is not something your too keen in waiting around for.

But there, in the distance, a young voice speaks. It is only audible to you:

“Don’t leave me here.
Like you, I embraced life’s pleasures. Let it lead me through its mysteries. Held on tight to its gates of success. Only to have time catch up with me and leave me feeling idle. My dear, like me, you too will lose your strength. Your speed. Your beauty. Only to sit on the same chair for the remainder of your time.
So, don’t leave me here. On my own��

cool...so i guess that's three people in the group already!! yay!!

*waits for more posts or people- whichever comes firsts*

I used to write quite often... Let me dig up one of my old poems... I believe I have a text file with a few of them, on my PC... *Searches*

Ah, here we go.

melancholy flowers

melancholy flowers
on a bright and sunny day
seem to mock the willow trees
as gently do they sway

The bees grow weary of their ways
The hoppers stay clear too
And so they merely sob alone
With heavy heads of dew

They sing about the fires
That live beneath the ash
That wait until the moment
When upward do they lash

The flowers only move
When arrogant winds do shove
And they shall never live to know
If snow can deeply love

The trees they shade too heavy
And the ground is hard and rough
And pleasant little showers
Never seem to come enough

And so they sway and sob and gloom
And wait until the day
The pretty girl with hands of death
Shall take them all away

PetiteAristocrat that is such a pretty poem, I like the way you use rhyme, which is difficult I suck at it and normally have to do freestyle poetry :0

You guys sure write better than me, but I decided to make courage and post a little something I wrote a while ago
It's nothing fab, just a sick and romantic imagination

Here it is :

I decided to go on a walk, I can't stand another minute staring at those boring walls of my room . That's what i said to my mom before i stepped outside . I looked at the sky and smiled .. I was charmed by the way the snow was falling, slowly . I found strange the fact that I was still able to smile after all the fightings in the past few days . I went to the park and set on OUR bench, watching hypnotized how the city was "dressing" in white . All around me were trees covered with snow, the frozen lake, they all would make a wonderful landscape like the ones from the fairytales my grandma used to read me . The cold is also a part of it, I can feel it taking over on me .. I can't fell my legs anymore .. than my hands .. my smile vanished a long time ago .. nothing happened to me, i just lost him .. I fell so sad and alone and I find myself thinking out loud [ Who's going to spoil me now ? Who's gonna teach me what love is ? ] I close my eyes, I imagine him standing in front of me and I start crying . All of a sudden I fell a warm hand taking mine . For a minute I'm thinking I must be dreaming but i open my eyes and realized that I'm not .. he's in front of me with his cold blue eyes and a gorgeous red rose in his hand . "Happy birthday honey !" I heard him say and I felt the ground slipping under my feet . As hot tears were falling down my face he gave me the most pure kiss ever . Then I knew he wasn't mad anymore, that I was forgiven. I also realized what he means to me and how much I need to treasure him .

i love writing but i dont trust websites, because i dont want anyone copying and pasting it with their name on it. but everyones storys are really good!

ayman99 wrote:

i love writing but i dont trust websites, because i dont want anyone copying and pasting it with their name on it. but everyones storys are really good!

I see what you mean, and i suppose I too won't be happy with people copying my original pieces. Though to be honest, I only write on my spare time and only for myself. No one gets to see my writing apart from a few of my friends and family. I guess I would like someone to read through some of my work and see what I could improve on...afterall, what good is all that writing hiding away in my scrapbooks? However, not many of my friends and family have an interest in creative writing, let alone give advice on how to improve it, so the next best thing I can think of is look for people with similar interests as me and they could comment on it.

Perhaps it is ok to posts your writing on sites so others may read it ( and possibly comment on it) if they are pieces that you are just doing for fun. I wouldn't advise you to post up writing pieces that you are planning to use else where ( such as school). Also it's important to remember that any original material you do post up, chances are that it may be copied...so only post up what you DON'T mind getting tweaked/stolen!

Remember, this thread is for people who enjoy writing, wish to share their creativity and they do this for fun. And I'm sure we can all accept and respect that.

i'm sure your not ayman...and besides, writing is something that can always develope...the beauty of it is that it can only get better

HisBabY wrote:

ClumsyChick wrote:

Wow HB! I like how you used the snow to cover all the imprefections, but all the same, the cold showed quick change of tone to the story. Amazing how it still managed to give me a warm feeling.

Thanks a lot ! These are just simple words on paper .. I wish I could write something muck more bigger and complex, but I kinda get stuck, can't seem to find the right words
And since I used to write in my native language, when I translate it's different, you know ?

yeah i get what you mean...it is rather hard to directly translate words to a different language - and then there's that fear of losing the exact emotion/ meaning to the story...trust me i know, i've been there!! lol!

i use to work on longer story when i had the time, but soon enough i'd lose the inspiration, especially when i'd come to the twist (i'm usually lame at twists)...so i now just stick to short storys...it helps me stick to the point and pulls out a lot more from my writing skills...oh, and there's always the fact that you can write a short story whereever you are! 

HisBabY wrote:

ayman99 wrote:

i might still post something but im a stupid writer

No one is a stupid writer !
It's just everybody has it's own style and vision about things
I think that the writings can tell a lot of things about the person behind them !

very well put!

i'm glad your back aarietti!! and i love the idea of the quote of the week...but a week seems too short for me...i usually get trapped with other work that it would take me about a month just to write a small piece...so could it be quote of the month. i mean at least that way we could give our other members a chance to discover this thread again (an perhaps more people would join us in time)

let's hope that this thread will live!!